Let the games begin.
Meat is all around me. At Rodizio Rico, skewered towers of meat bombard you from all corners of the room. Our server comes up and asks if we’ve been before. Two out of three of us had been and we knew what to expect. The third made sure to bring his appetite, doing his stomach stretches with a burger at lunch. The waiter tossed three coasters onto the table, green on one side, red on the other. Green side up and the floodgates are open. Red side up when you need to catch your breath (or you’re on your last breath).
“Eat as much as you can,” he says.
Don’t worry, we knew what we were getting into long before we stepped foot in the door.
We’re wearing sweatpants, we’re here for excess.
You start by having a look at the buffet. I think I saw some salad and fruits, but that just takes up valuable meat space. The rest of the buffet is either fried, meat, or maybe fried meat. Rice with chicken. Fried vegetables with sausage.
Round 1
All in all maybe 10 different dishes, only one or two of which contain only vegetables. I load up 3/4 of a plate full, leaving a corner of the plate for the first wave of meat. I figure I can eat my way around the buffet starters and make more room for meat as the night goes on.
One by one, the carvers march over to our table. Lamb, rump steak, top side of beef, beef with cheese, beef shish, pork, sausages, chicken hearts (!). You get through them all and nothing has had a chance to settle. The food ranges from good to great, but more than anything, we’re driven by the mantra “Eat as much as you can”. Back to the buffet, but only to keep the palate fresh for more meat. A glass of wine helps too. That glass is on the coaster, pinning it to the table green side up.
Another plateful. More skewers. We’ve lapped ourselves and we’re back on lamb. We’re starting to have to make some tough choices; we can only accomodate our favourite meats now. I’m not full yet, but I can feel the food starting to weigh me down. Can’t stop, keep it coming.
Defeat.
Another plate down. The room’s going blurry and my head is spinning. I can’t make eye contact with any of the servers because Ithink they can sense my weakness. I surrender, I’m waving the white flag, I’m…turning the coaster from green to red. Take pity on me, I’ve just eaten my weight in meat.
We all say there’s always room for dessert. I’ve never known this to be more true than at Rodizio Rico. As full as I was, each meat skewer taunting me as it went by, I still thought dessert sounded pretty nice. A nice, light, and very sweet, mango custard was just what I needed.
Dinner, dessert, and a glass of wine come to just over 30 with service. Carnivores, eat your heart out.
The tip: Preto
The tipster: The man in the suit and tie…who, it turns out, doesn’t eat meat.